The Troutown Gazette

Hi folks. Right off the bat (no pun intended), I’m gonna tell you that I ain’t a great sports writer. That was Breckelsworth’s department, but the last I heard of him, his spleen was being sold to the Russians. Poor Breckelsworth! Stay strong old friend! Remember, stick to the old “name, rank, and serial number.” Don’t let them get anything else out of you. Heck, they already got your spleen.

Anyway, the Troutown Whale Sharks held up for 9 innings last night against the Stumpville Treetops down at the old ballpark. It was 0-0 at the bottom of the ninth, and it was looking like we’d have our first non-embarrassing loss. The Treetops were at bat, and everyone figured maybe we’d give up a run or two, but no more. Up until that point, Jim (the pitcher) hadn’t given much up. But something must’ve snapped inside him, because in no time the Treetops had scored 10 runs. At that point, Bucky Shill (the manager) called in a young upstart closer by the name of Ross Tickle. Well, that was just what the doctor ordered, because Ross managed to strike out 3 batters in a row. And all that after giving up only 5 more runs.

So chalk up another humiliating defeat for our beloved Whale Sharks. But look on the bright side, at least 0-15 isn’t the worst defeat we’ve faced this season!

# posted by Jiminy Grizzle @ 9:26 AM